Holy. Shit. (J)

The sheer volume of media intake is squinting into the horizon of staggering; the fact that you still have time and energy to then output response to said media is hammered-drunk, falling-down amounts of beyond staggering. We really need to get you working on cancer, global warming, and toothpaste that can be returned to the tube. And maybe knitting? Doesn't knitting take a long time? Maybe you could start knitting the true value of pi. That ought to keep you busy until I get some guys from JPL to build a hamster wheel that will both fit you and, well, restrain you.