I made no secret of the fact that I was less than inclined to see this movie-what with it's bad reviews, limited run, and just sketchy subject matter not to mention the worst script writer/director to ever set foot on a studio lot: Paul Haggis. Unfortunately for the hour and forty minutes I just spent watching the film, I was not wrong in my assumptions that this one just sucks. I really found no redeeming quality whatsoever. (I totally should have re-watched Ratatouille or watched Elizabeth: The Golden Age, Across the Universe, or Surf's Up instead--Joel picked up all of those in prep. for Sunday's Oscars--the good thing is that none of them can be this bad.)
A brief catalog of what's wrong with the film (it's just in order of what I can remember but it can in no way be comprehensive because I'd have to watch the thing again and that's so not happening):
1. In usual Haggis fashion, he forgets about characters. Susan Sarandon who plays the mother simply disappears halfway through. We get nothing else from her.
2. The film is dedicated (I'm not making this up) "to the children" in the credits.
3. In usual Haggis fashion, he beats you over the head with visual "metaphors" (spoiler: Tommy Lee stops what he's doing to help a Dominican hang a school's flag the right way (it had been upside down--which is retarded, I'm sure the guy knew how to fly the flag if he was given the job to do so) at the beginning of the movie. But, ominous music please, at the end of the movie, Jones stops at the same school to hang an American flag that flew in Iraq and was war damaged at the same school BUT he hangs the flag upside down AND duct tapes it to the pole so it can't be removed at night. Now this is ALL retarded for a number of reasons including #4. Additionally, Jones's character begins to lose his rigid military-ness as his son's murder investigation gets messier--he sleeps later and later, doesn't make the beds with military corners, blah blah blah stupid)
4. In usual Haggis fashion, he ignores what a character would actually do in favor of what he wants the character to do to further Haggis's retarded thematic plans (ie: Jones's strict Army man flying a torn flag upside down)
5. In usual Haggis fashion, he adds in nonsense subplots to beat us over the head with his retarded themes (this one has Charlize Theron's cop going to a crime scene for no other reason than to show how she screwed that one up and how army guys can be violent--no shit we knew both of those things 30 minutes earlier)
6. Charlize Theron. Bad acting. Looks like she's going to cry the WHOLE movie.
7. In usual Haggis fashion, he has to have an "unusual" narrative aspect that adds absolutely nothing to the movie (here he has the dead son's camera-phone photos and videos from Iraq interwoven)
8. In usual Haggis fashion, he has a TWIST that's so not a twist at all.
9. In usual Haggis fashion, he has to remind us that we're all a little bit racist and go for the easiest answer (this time we don't like Mexicans and think they're all murderous decapitating drug dealers)
10. Topless women--throughout the film--for no real useful or artistic reason.
11. James Franco's haircut.
12. I just didn't care. Haggis managed to write a story about a father losing his second son to the military in a less than kosher way and I could have cared less. He did nothing to endear the son to me.
13. In true Haggis fashion, his trademark really, BAM! BAM! BAM! He insists on beating you over the head with absolutely EVERYTHING.
14. In usual Haggis fashion, another trademark, dialogue that makes not a damned bit of sense (at one point the Hispanic man that we're supposed to believe is a murderous decapitating drug dealer says to Jones "Wouldn't it be funny if the devil looked just like you" What?! There is no interaction between the two--save Jones beating the shit out of him--before this comment and it is never explained.)
15. In usual Haggis fashion, the title has to be some sort of dead horse beaten repeatedly and crammed into the least fitting place in the film. The Valley of Elah is where David fought Goliath. Theron's son in the film is named David. Jones tells him the story. David is afraid of the dark, a little less so after Jones tells him the story. Can we cram anything else nonsensical and pseudo-metaphorical into the film? Wait! Are you thinking what I'm thinking! By God, yes we can! The WHOLE film is dedicated to "the children" who have to be brave and fight evil . . . . . could that mean the boys we've sent to Iraq? Could it? Hmmmm. I wouldn't be so sure except Haggis beat me over the head repeatedly with that very not so subtly yelled sentiment.
That's all I can think of at the moment. Ugh. It's just disgusting that this got made and that Haggis gets any sort of acclaim for anything that he does. The really sad part of the film is that it's a story that should be told--the children we've sent to a horrible war in which they have to perform amoral tasks and then we bring them home and we're shocked that they retain the behavior--the differences between this war and all of the wars that have come before--the degradation of honor in the military . . . .
Ugh. I like Tommy Lee Jones but if he wins for this movie (which I actually really doubt) I will scream. Loudly. You may hear me in Columbia.
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